We Are Allowed to Age: Why I Don’t Care That I Look Old

We Are Allowed to Age: Why I Don’t Care That I Look Old

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb It is just past ten in the morning on a Tuesday. My wet boardshorts and blue tank top are drying at lightning speed in the sweltering South Indian sun. I am feeling alive and exhilarated after my surf session in the […]

Dear Everyone Who Tells Me I Should Reconcile with My Parents

Dear Everyone Who Tells Me I Should Reconcile with My Parents

“You are allowed to terminate your relationship with toxic family members. You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself.” ~Unknown You might think I’m a monster because I don’t have a relationship with my parents. I don’t spend holidays with them; […]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Worth and How I’ve Let Them Go

The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Worth and How I’ve Let Them Go

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside and hustle for your worthiness.” Brene Brown I was shaking and sweating with fear as I stood in front of my graduate professor for the final test of the semester. I was twenty-two years old at the time and felt like a […]

Why Other People’s Comments Hurt Us and How to Let Them Go

Why Other People’s Comments Hurt Us and How to Let Them Go

“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Wow. That one takes me waaay back. All the way to the elementary school playground. A place where I attempted to […]

Why Judging People Hurt Me and 5 Things That Helped Me Stop

Why Judging People Hurt Me and 5 Things That Helped Me Stop

“It’s very easy to judge. It’s much more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods.” ~Doe Zantamata In the past, judgments kept me safe. They reassured me that I had worth. That I was right. That I was good. I believed I knew […]

Why Belonging Is So Difficult for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

Why Belonging Is So Difficult for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

“Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~Brené Brown Sitting there watching The Greatest Showman, with tears pouring down my face, I asked myself why does this song, in fact this whole film, make me cry so much? Why does it evoke so much emotion in me? “I am […]

The Messiness of Being Human and Why We Shouldn’t Judge Each Other

The Messiness of Being Human and Why We Shouldn’t Judge Each Other

“Those who understand will never judge, and those who judge will never understand.” ~Wilson Kanadi I’m waiting for my mother’s nurse to pick up. The hospital recording has been on a loop for twenty minutes: “Our hospital is committed to integrity, to the destitute, the sick. Our physicians and nurses have trained at some of […]

Why I Despised My Skin Color & 5 Strategies That Improved My Self-Image

Why I Despised My Skin Color & 5 Strategies That Improved My Self-Image

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” ~Coco Chanel I believed I was ugly and blamed it on my dark skin. I hated my skin color. Looking back, I realized it’s because I didn’t fit in with the white kids, nor did I fit in with the black kids. I am mixed race. […]

5 Simple Ways to Overcome Your Mind’s Constant Judgments

5 Simple Ways to Overcome Your Mind’s Constant Judgments

“It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow.” ~Doe Zantamata If you don’t live in a cave, you have probably noticed two things. First, there are a lot of annoying, […]

5 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

5 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

“No matter what you do, someone won’t be pleased. Someone will think your choices are wrong. And someone will tell you what you should do instead. No matter which path you take, someone will seem to be doing better. Someone will have more than you. And someone else’s life may look more impressive on paper. […]